Realm of the Undefined

Alright in case anybody was wondering when i returned from the dead to update my blog…save it. Never died to return in the first place just dormant. Back with a little something to reflect on.

Parenting kids is like one of the worst nightmares any self-respecting parent can experience. But what about kids trying to parent other kids??? Sounds ridiculous? But hell its true. Have we become so absorbed with ourselves that we cannot take a step back and think how the other party feels when we point the accusing finger, when we ourselves have so many flaws beyond correction?

Generally people tend to suffer so much in silence, so much so that they feel cornered, maybe even scared to live, being a prisoner in their own homes. Maybe all they need is for someone to reach out to them..maybe a kind word or two… an occasional hug does wonders from my experience.

Maybe what I’m saying may seem out of context/place/situation to some people. But to those who bear the brunt of the ridiculing and hurt, this post cannot make anymore sense.

Peace Out.

Of late, I have some to realise that my recent posts have only been about camp has been a bitch to me thus making my blog one of the most depressing to read . For a change, and hopefully more to come, here is a little kudos to those who are respect-worthy,from my perspective.(By the way i actually know all these people)

Firstly, the caring daughter. It amazes me to see members of the fairer sex actually putting in the effort to alleviate their parents’ burden. I am referring to the kind of girls who feel the pain of their parents and are willing to do their utmost in every possible way so that the family benefits, specifically, women coming forth to earn their own living even though they live under the same roof as their parents. I am fortunate enough to know a number of such darlings (haha) who have their parent’s financial position as their foremost priority. A respect-worthy deed which would never have crossed my mind for sure. It may sound repititive, but it is hard to chance upon those who have the happiness of others in mind.

Nextly, the independent woman. Although this has become a prominent feature in our society, there are only a few especially within my community, specifically my group of friends. We are not talking about girls who despise men, but about women who feel they have as much to contribute to the world as men. Their strength of character comes out as a clear-cut show of determination as compared to the untimely bravado which most empty vessels display. Also their willingness to help those who are down and out is admirable. The kind of confidence they can infuse in those who are lost and confused is sufficient to help the affected partuies pick themselves up again. As an independent woman, such womenfolk have been able to establish a deep-rooted feeling of feminism in many.

Finally, the softies. Although the title I have given them is the ultimatum of cheesiness, its true for the major part of it. These group of people are usually very sensitive to the interest of people around them, afraid to hurt anybody’s feeling. Although it may sound like a senseless thing to do since you cannot please everyone, they play an important part in making the down-hearted feel warm and fuzzy inside(haha). Furthermore softies make everyone feel appreciated, causing them to feel that there is a reason for them to be alive and kicking. Personally, this is my favourite group of people because they are easy to please and make one feel good about himself. Yes, indeed a world without softies would be something I don’t want to live to see.

As a concluding statement, I would like to say that the above described are the qualities of people I know and admire a lot. However, the best feeling is knowing that despite their various personalities they still care for me regardless of whatever situation I may be in simply because they are beautiful as they are, I wouldnt want them changed one bit.

P.S. : I hope that made the mentioned people feel warm and fuzzy inside!  :)   

Ever wondered what it’s like to feel that the world is turning against you ? Well, no one can be more acquainted with that feeling more than me. Its hard to be sporting and be numb to what’s happening around you especially when your family itself things you are physically weak and incapable of being able to alleviate your own situation. Even friends,the people who are supposed to be your lifeline in the outside world have looked down on my competence without giving me a chance to prove myself. Although it may be true that i have not been completely successful in all my ventures, my fighting spirit should never be put down by others. The wil to win is instrumental in the success of any deed, be it at work or at play. Without the will,there is certainly no way. These incidents have made me realise that its timefor me to take things into my own hands, and step up to the challenges ahead of me.

I swear allegiance to no one and nothing. I am true to myself and nothing else. The days of being brushed aside as a bad joke are coming to an abrupt end. As much as i wish to change my outlook, I still wish to retain the niceness in me which I have more oftenly exhibited unintentionally..haha..Essentially its who we are that counts. Without a dash of decency and a pinch of properliness(if there is such a word) we are no different from the five-sensed animals which we consider lower beings. Furthermore, character is a bigger pull factor than physical appearance when catering to the masses, especially the fairer sex (stiffles laughter).

Its time we all choose to prove the critcisms. Its time to prove our worth.Its time to Gun Down the Opposition.

This is a poem I wrote about a rainy day where everyone in camp(sorry ladies) was too lethargic to respond to commands. Its not much but its what I could muster with my limited lingual capabilities and creativity, but hey..you have to start somewhere!

The Gloominess of the day descending upon us, as we nestle in our own separate poses, drifting in the wake of all our wishes

Like fallen soldiers we lie sprawled across the floor, awaiting salvation in the form of a chore

As the rain falls gently on the sidewalk, it deafens out our litle snores and small talk

Enter the July breeze, making its presence felt, causing us all to feel svelt

As the voice from beyond beckons, we are all forced to awaken

Our reverie broken,by the abrupt interruption,we pick ourselves up,wishing w could fade to oblivion

SAF Day Parade. An eventful day for those who have climbed (clambered for some) up the ladder of success achieving more of a rank, respect and power than they already do. To me and many others however the parade held no significance as we would never get an opportunity to be on such a stage, heaped with praises and words of congratulations, our NS career having already reached a plateau before it even began proper. However my concern was not the parade itself, but what followed after. We dragged our feet to fall in like disciplined soldiers after coming out half-baked in the sun for close to an hour.

Battery Commander(BC),Captain(amazingly he is an Indian)Indren had gathered us all in a ruch,to after all comment on the importance of SAF day which we never bothered to find out because it didn’t matter to us anyway. As i was getting ready to enter the twilight zone, he started saying "Gentlemen, this is the day we once again re-pledge ourselves to the security of our nation. Today we mark yet another year of having upheld security in our country,and gentlemen many soldiers,especially you have been responsible. The country has you to thank for that security." The next minute, I was all ears,eager to hear him speak more. Why was it  that officers were so well versed in the art of influenced? Was it an innate ability that only a gifted few were able to master? Or was my BC just being manipulative? Confused I pressed on listening further. "We all have the SAF to thank for the good lives we lead.Hence in your 2 year service to the nation, please do not waste it. Its all a choice,gentlemen. What you wish to learn the army will teach,not to do away with your NS liabilities, but to get by life smoothly. For an unexplainable reason I felt all the more motivated to prove my worth to him. This gift of the gab which he possessed inspired me in a matter of minutes. The point I wish to get across is that its always the way in which we convey information that helps us get the job done. (e.g. BC’s idea was to inspire this man.He achieved it by picking all the right methods to do so.)Smooth Talker? Maybe. But to continually inspire men, batch after batch without the slightest sign of weariness? That, I leave, to the theory of "Each its Own".

This was a reflection I made when I was in my bunk alone in camp. People say i think too much about things, but I guess,ultimately, that’s not for me to decide…

SO, another Thursday is upon us. Nearing the most eventful part of the week in anybody’s calendar. 1 more day and I’ll be a free bird doing my thing at my own free will. For 48 hours. Yes, this is a typical lifestlye of a "trained" soldier. Forcing myself to conform to the droning commands of my superiors,frequently being forced to redo simple drills which woul other wise be accomplished in one attempt IF only everyone could co-operate.

Its hard for one to embrace this form of lifestyle for 2 years of his life,while all the way realisinfg that his friends are masters of their own free will,unlike me,in this case, serving the nation as the lowest form in a conscript system. Its true that many have overcome this phase of their lives  but not without anguish and suffering. Does this imply I’m a coward? Am I so mentally feeble that I cannot take a little roughing up? Or worse does this phase of my life question my masculinity? I don’t know. I choose to believe that I am simply not engineered for a  lifestyle that is not determined by me. However, it does help to have wonderful friends like ‘banana’ rai..haha..who are willing to lend a listening ear when you need it the most. Can’t help but appreciate these kind of people who are hard to come by.

Anyhow, my term has to be served for another gruelling 1 year 8 months and 1 day, but I am comforted by the fact that I have wonderful people by my side willing to come forward with their support when I am in need the most.

Does anybody ever know the meaning of block "leave" anymore? "leave" means you’re supposed to drop all your worries ,chuck your work aside and take time off to appreciate the little things. However, I get sick for one week, and the next, I’m volunteered to be a slave at 7-Eleven. Ok, its not like I’m a selfish runt who doesn’t want to be of any assistance to my dear old dad’s business, its just…wrong. I suffer as a budding soldier in camp, and when  I break free of being the lowest life form on earth, I get pushed to another instituition to fill up the lowest of ranks. I think I need my self-respect once in a while if it isn’t too much to ask. Although I hold many good memories of working in 7-Eleven, I’m just not in the mood to do manual labour just yet. But it has definitely been a good experience working there previously, because it teaches you stuff like the importance of a good education so that you don’t end up doing these kind of jobs. Oh well, I guess we all have our problems,and this just happens to be a big one for me. Anyhow, I do wish I do not have to work there. It takes alot out of people,mentally and physically, do don the colours of 7-Eleven unquestioningly.

There couldn’t have been a better day than that  of June 10. Freedom from the clasp of the illnesses that gripped my feeble mind and body,surrounded by good friends and good food, ’twas a day to remember for more reasons than one. Finally i have a photo of myself with a good friend of mine, after much delay and procrastination (and his inefficiency). But nevertheless in the spirit of friendship, his minor shortcomings can be overlooked as much as i’d like to exploit them. Did i mention ? He just turned 20,so he’s jumping around on his high horse galloping gleefully at being closer to obtaining his voting rights. But truthfully, I’m sure he couldn’t be anymore bothered than me about those kind of things. A good time it was for all  those who were present. Particularly for me, having had the opportunity to see people who actually cared for me after a stress inducing 3 months of military training. Am just thankful for the wonderful friends I have who made that day particularly memorable. So a big shout out to all those present yesterday, thanks for making it as fun as it was!